testMonkey realm

This site started as the home for testMonkey designs. The company is long gone. The site then became my home to write, vent, test humor (and patience). Alas, the time has come to state the obvious: this site is useful no more.

I’ve decided to embrace blogging 2007 style. No categories. No structure. No theme on which to ponder. If I want to post something random, I will. If I post something with substance, great. If I post something silly, even better. Quotes, conversations, pictures, videos - whatever. The best thing is this: no expectations.

So I bid farewell to this site. I will leave it up for a time, but someday expect it to disappear.

Feel free to join me over at my new home (and update your feed, too): j.tumblr.com. It should be fun. Or not. Whatever.

UPDATE: you can also find me at 50mm to mediocrity.

We are on the cusp of winter, and there are a few firsts I’d like to try this winter:

1) snowshoeing. Basically hiking on snow, snowshoeing is something I’ve never done and would like to try.

2) cross-country skiing. Ditto.

The only problem I have is simple: I have no idea how to even begin to get these two things done. Any suggestions?

Seriously –wouldn’t backup dancers be awesome? Think about it: I could tell the most boring story ever and backup dancers would make it better. For example:

We had turkey for Thanksgiving. And stuffing. But we took the stuffing and baked it in the oven. It was crunchy. We also had mashed potatoes and corn. I put the corn in the mashed potatoes and mixed it all around.

True story. And a total snooze-fest. Now, imagine I told you that story with background dancers doing their thing behind me.

Awesome, right?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: a great (even decent) leader should never need to utter the words “I’m your boss.” If the term is spoken, it’s because said leader has failed to think through a decision properly.

In short, they failed to lead.

Am I wrong? Have you ever had to pull out the so-called nuclear option?

Bob Barker has gone on record that he will retire in June. In an interview quoted by Fox News, he details some of his post-retirement plans:

To kick off his retirement, Barker said he will “sit down for maybe a couple of weeks and find out what it feels like to be bored.” Then he plans to spend time working with animal-rights causes, including his own DJ&T Foundation, founded in memory of his late wife, Dorothy Jo, and mother, Matilda.

He said he’d take on a movie role if the right one came along, but filmmakers, take note: “I refuse to do nude scenes. These Hollywood producers want to capitalize on my obvious sexuality, but I don’t want to be just another beautiful body.”

Anyone else scarred (and/or scared)?

A few days back I was sitting on my couch quietly, just barely getting my eight month old to calm down, when the door bell rang. I answered it to find a three foot tall being muttering something about buying chocolate for $2 “for school.” Now, don’t get me wrong -I loves me my chocolate, but I don’t really feel like supporting “fundraising efforts” that generate more revenue for the fundraising company than the school. I politely turned the small creature down and closed the door.

Time travel to a day later. The doorbell rings and I am confronted with the same three foot bipedal organism. She asks again, quite cherubically, if I’d buy chocolate. I’m thinking perhaps she doesn’t remember hitting this side of the complex already. “How determined!” I think to myself. Again, I politely turn her down and close the door.

Fast forward one additional day. I arrive home from work to find some cheap looking chocolate sitting on the counter. When I inquire of my wife about the “Finest Quality” brand on the chocolate, she tells me she purchased it from a little girl that was, you guessed it, fundraising. We compare notes; it’s the same girl.

Who is coaching these so-called “children” in the ways of door-to-door salesmanship? I wish my wife had read this.