on Oct 31st, 2005
bid’nes
I’m not a structural engineer. In fact, the only time I think I’ve ever held the title of ‘engineer’ is when I made sandwiches for a popular food chain and my name tag read, somewhat misleadingly, ‘Sandwich Engineer’.
Nor am I an architect. Can you imagine me being in charge of making sure buildings stay in the air? I can’t even be bothered to wear shoes.
I do, however, know a thing or two about what could be better in the ever illustrious trade of bathroom design.
Every so often, my wife and I find ourselves eating at a local chain restaurant. Invariably, we are seated with a bird’s eye view of the staff entrance and bathrooms. Without exception, the men’s room finds itself occupied several times a meal by various patrons. To this I do not object. I do object, however, to the fact that I and anyone sitting near me gets a clear view of the activities going on.
To you women out there, let me educate you about a concept called “stage fright” (otherwise known “gun shy”). I’ve been in a women’s bathroom a time or two in my life (don’t ask), and I have to say with some level of envy that you’ve really got a nice thing going there. They are always clean, smell nice, and are free of the questionable solicitations that we men have become fairly immune to. You get 12-15 square feet to yourselves, usually boxed into a cozy, private stall. I’ve even seen a couch or two in there from time to time. In short, you’ve got a great place to go about your business (bid’nes?).
The realm of men’s rooms, unfortunately, is rarely as serene. The smells - burning through nostril hairs like an out of control forrest fire, the aforementioned salacious graffiti, and the palpable filth are all givens. Add to that the fact that instead of individualized stalls, men get the opportunity, nay, the privilege, to be lined up side by side in Spanish execution-by-firing-squad style, facing the wall scant inches (ha!) from another feller. All this leads, as you might expect, to a situation that is less than, shall we say, comfortable.
Enter stage fright. We’ve got to go. We have to go. We need to go. But we can’t; there’s simply too much pressure. And all this is in your typically well laid out bathrooms.
So what’s my beef? Clearly, men have more than enough on our plates with business as usual. Add to that the poorly designed bathroom where some poor schmuck gets a good look at me doing my thing every time the door opens. The SATs and LSATs are nothing compared to that kind of pressure. And think of the people trying to enjoy their meals.
All I’m asking for is a bit of (enter trendy new controversial phrase here) intelligent design. Someone can approve a bathroom layout that will inhibit the viewing of men in the midst of urination. It’s possible. I’ve seen it. And I’ve not seen it. For heaven’s sake, let us pee in peace.
It might be “scant inches” for you my friend…
At this time I feel the need to share my experience with women’s restrooms. My unfortunate experience comes from many years in various jobs where my job description included, among other things, general maintenance and upkeep…janitorial duties falling under such a category.
I would clean both bathrooms so they were both spic and freakin’ span…and guess which bathroom would be the dirtiest the fastest. One would be inlined to think the men’s, but alas, I’m afraid to say this was not always true. The women’s room would look like someone showered in there and then used shreds of toilet paper to dry themselves. Not to mention the occasional woman’s hygeine product on the floor, counter, or clogging the toilet.
I agree that men are disgusting and I believe if bathrooms aren’t regularly attended to, the men’s would be worse over time. But I feel it’s my duty to shatter the false generalization that women are clean in public restrooms. I let my experience speak for itself. Thank you and good day.
OK, I’ll agree that they ain’t the cleanest, either. But aren’t most of your bathroom cleaning experiences of the gas station/rest area type? Given my choice between rabid dogs or refuge in a bathroom of that ilk, I’ll take the dogs any day.
I have to agree with bossdj. While men MIGHT have the issue with the aiming and the resultant stainage everywhichway (and HELLO!, how hard is it to aim? You, at least, are anatomically engineered to be able to so with ease!), women’s room are DIGUSTING across the board. I’ve cleaned mine, various offices toilettes, restrooms, and been in various public facilities from public reststops to chichi international hotels. We leave “debris” behind. Why we would punish our fellow cleaning sisters, I don’t know. One of the sisterhood inevitably has to clean the area. No man is going to stoop do it for us, especially when he won’t clean up after himself or PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN!
This may be a case of the grass being greener on the other side yada yada yada
But to get back to testmonkey’s issues, would the designers please also remember that diners and other passersby also don’t want to look at the poses of the men doing their bidness at the troughs in the mens room either. Can you put the door out of the direct line of sight, or at least put a little foyer or something in to block our view? I mean EW!!!! At least maintain the illusion of privacy if you can’t soundproof the stalls. DON’T even get me started on the whole unisex bathroom concept.