on Aug 8th, 2006
Kill the Panda!
Let me clarify: killing pandas is not good. In fact, killing pandas is bad. And wrong. And I’m pretty sure it is illegal, too. So don’t kill pandas.
However, I am advocating that you kill Panda Express. Why commit what is sure to be a crime in almost any state (not valid in Hawaii or Alaska)? Because Panda Express is evil.
Sure, it tastes good. I doubt anyone will tell you the food is bad. In fact, it’s down right yummy. But it’s evil –so evil. When you’re done eating it, you kind of mentally disconnect. You won’t feel bad, necessarily, but you’re useless. Nothing gets done all afternoon. And the next day, you want it again, thus perpetuating the cycle of inefficiency.
I have a controversial theory about why this is: Panda Express is out to take over the world. Think about it - by making Americans less effective, the door is opened to other nations to take over. Oh, yes; Panda Express wants to overthrow America.
It’s too bad Krispy Kreme already beat them to it.
Must be owned by the same people as Cafe Rio. I’m proud to say I’ve kicked that habit, but must admit that the panda still courses through my veins.