by main monkey
on Oct 18th, 2006
on Oct 18th, 2006
Punishment?
Hot on the heals of this:
The American Academy of Pediatrics says what children really need for healthy development is more good, old-fashioned playtime. (cbs)
we find this:
Tag, you’re out! Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they’ll get hurt and hold the school liable.
Recess is “a time when accidents can happen,” said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban. (charlotte.com)
Awesome. I propose that we also remove from schools:
- all pencils and pens. The danger of being impaled is real.
- paper. Lord knows that stuff can lacerate!
- computers. Proven to lead to lead poisoning in China’s children.
- blackboards. Chalk dust causes pulmonary disease.
- music classes. Can cause ear canal damage and mental anguish.
- gym class. Climb a rope? Oh, the insurance premiums!
- teachers. For their tendency towards sexual exploitation.
I mean, we wouldn’t want our children to have experiences, would we?
How could you forget the most dangerous threat to a students health and general well being…
CAFETERIA LUNCHES!!! (proceded by ominous “dum dum dum” music)
I almost included Lunch Ladies, but I wanted to be sensitive to our Lunch Lady contingent.
Okay, maybe guys don’t have this problem, but gym definitely should be banned because just changing in the locker room can be detrimental to one’s self esteem. How many generations of women have been damaged just by the ordeal of getting ready for gym and then trying to get yourself back together in 10 minutes to try and get to class?
THE HORRORS!
and what’s with the whole “open shower” thing in the locker room? Oh, the scars…