on Dec 29th, 2004
True Love
A man, we’ll call him Clay*, lies naked, face down on his bed. His wife, armed with flashlight and tweezers at the ready, peers curiously -yet intently -at his bare backside. Clay wonders exactly how many years of marriage, how many years of clogged toilets and how much of his own noxious flatulence, it took to get to the point where he could -semi-comfortably -find himself in just such a position.
But I’m skipping ahead a bit. This is the story of a lesson learned. A lesson that really can’t be taught in any humane way. It is a lesson that must be experienced to really, really gain wisdom from.
Ask yourself what the worst possible thing that you could do in the following situation:
You’re a photographer for the local news channel. Your tripod is setup to be low to the ground. The head of the tripod is off balance, requiring you to squat low to adjust the horizon of the camera.
And you’re shooting in a cactus garden.
Give it a second…ah, yes. There it is: the worst possible thing you could do.
Moral? Always, always look behind you before stooping down in the desert.
As the cactus needles were being removed one by one with the crudest of tools, Clay realized with a solemn certainty one simple fact: his wife really must love him.
(* names changed to protect the umm… bare assed embarrassed)
yes it is true –I do love you honey honey. I just hope if I ever get in the same situation you will be willing to do the same for me!!
At least Mrs. J … ahem…. CLAY … got to look at the good version of the family behind. I can attest that he had the cutest little baby butt. Others in the family did not fare so fortunately, in either butts or in loving spouses.
Ha! We got to see the plant, butt didn’t get see the animal, how come?
Sounds like heads and tails type of story with tails losing!