testMonkey realm

Let me clarify: killing pandas is not good. In fact, killing pandas is bad. And wrong. And I’m pretty sure it is illegal, too. So don’t kill pandas.

However, I am advocating that you kill Panda Express. Why commit what is sure to be a crime in almost any state (not valid in Hawaii or Alaska)? Because Panda Express is evil.

Sure, it tastes good. I doubt anyone will tell you the food is bad. In fact, it’s down right yummy. But it’s evil –so evil. When you’re done eating it, you kind of mentally disconnect. You won’t feel bad, necessarily, but you’re useless. Nothing gets done all afternoon. And the next day, you want it again, thus perpetuating the cycle of inefficiency.

I have a controversial theory about why this is: Panda Express is out to take over the world. Think about it - by making Americans less effective, the door is opened to other nations to take over. Oh, yes; Panda Express wants to overthrow America.

It’s too bad Krispy Kreme already beat them to it.

Four glorious days of rafting on Idaho’s Salmon River have come and gone. Sigh. Words never do these kinds of trips justice, so check out the photo set on Flickr here.

Since my time teaching for the college is up (they hired a fulltime “real” professor), I now have some extra energy to put into a side project that I’ve been meaning to start for a while. The website is notindoors.com and its goal is to bring the news, reviews, and special reports of the outdoor recreation industry to all us average folks who’d rather be playing outside than stuck at a desk. I hope to get about four relavent stories up a day in a effort to get more involved with the outdoors and to inspire readers to get outdoors.

I have some long range goals for the site, including a weekly video podcast based on user-submitted pics and video, but it’ll be a bit before that can happen. Short term, I need people to find the site and become readers and participators. That said, have a look at the site and offer feedback (notindoors at gmail dot com) if you can. And bokmark it. And add it to your RSS reader. And show your friends - you get the idea.

I’m glad to report there are still some unmarried scientists out there who are coming up with the next great thing to save the world.

Solar Powered Air Conditioning: duh.

Being a Dad Benefits the Male Brain: whoo hoo!

Scientists Produce Flatulence-Free Beans: where were these when I was living in South America?

Drunk Monkeys Mirror People: why don’t I qualify for these research grants?

Now, don’t you feel smarter?

Some have asked that I post the official results for the triathlons done here, so, uh, here:

St. George Tri (May 13th - Sand Hollow State Park)
Kanab Tri (June 3 - Sand Hollow Aquatic Center)
Utah Summer Games Tri (June 17 - Sand Hollow State Park)

Um, wow.

The quote from FCC Commissioner Deborah Taylor Tate (pdf):

“If numbers are any indication, many Americans are not happy about the way that their airwaves are being utilized,” she writes in a recent opinion. “The number of complaints filed with the FCC reached over one million in 2004. Indeed, since taking office in January 2006, I have received hundreds of personal e-mails from people all over this country who are unhappy with the content to which they—and, in particular, their families—are subjected.”

If I voluntarily sit and watch a show, am I really being subjected to content, whether moral or amoral? I mean, I am subjected to ultraviolet radiation and taxes; in these situations I have no choice. TV, however, yields to my thumb; I push the button and that black box powers off.

From this quote we learn that there are literally hundreds of emails. Hundreds. The current estimated population of the United States is 298,444,215. 298 million. Hundreds, millions, hundreds, millions… you get my point.

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